


If You Go Into the Woods Today....

by ThisWasInevitable



Series: Government Men and Their Cryptid Boyfriends [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Sex, Camping, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Group Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, OT4: Two Dudes and the Cryptid Boyfriends, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Roleplay, Rough Sex, Trans Agent Stern, Trans Duck Newton, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, brief mention of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 15:24:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18831385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisWasInevitable/pseuds/ThisWasInevitable
Summary: After discovering they like being together, Duck, Stern, Indrid, and Barclay settle on a way to have a pleasant camping trip and an exciting roleplay all in one go.





	If You Go Into the Woods Today....

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after "A Ranger, and FBI Agent, and Two Cryptids Walk Into a Hotel Room" but can be read as a standalone. 
> 
> Content notes:
> 
> -The premise of the roleplay is that Duck and Stern go camping, only to be stumbled upon by Indrid and Barclay. After Barclay "accidentally" turns into Bigfoot, Stern pretends to kidnap him. When Indrid arrives, the Sylphs agree to teach the humans a lesson. It's understood this has all been negotiated ahead of time and is enthusiastically consented to in the scene.

The evening before the camping trip is a flurry of conversation

“Nervous babe?”

“No, just excited, never done anything like this before. Roleplay of any sort is rather new to me. Now, Duck, I made a list of supplies-”

“Lucky, I got this, I’m a forest professional, all you gotta do is be there. You clear on the plan, ‘Drid?”

“Never clearer, my sweet. This is going to be fun.”

 

\--------------------------------------------------

Duck examines the tent in front of him, pleased with his handiwork. Leaves and rocks crunch behind him until Stern is right next to him. He has a sleeping bag and small backpack slung over his shoulder. 

“I put the food in the bear box like you said. Is the tent ready?”

“Yep, already tossed my stuff in there, go ahead and get yours settled.” He watches Stern as he goes, taking a minute to appreciate the view. Turns to look out at the sunset over the lake; this campground hasn’t officially opened yet, but being a ranger carries certain perks. 

His plan is simple: get the cute guy he’s already fucked once out into the woods with him, show him a good time (in all senses of the word), and take advantage of his huge, soft sleeping bag.

When he crawls into the tent, Stern is finishing unrolling his sleeping bag onto a very cushy sleeping mat. Duck’s never seen the guy in just shorts and a t-shirt, but unsurprisingly he looks just as good in his hiking gear as he does in a suit. His hair isn’t as tamed back as when he’s working, and he keeps tossing his head to flick it out of his eyes as he leans over his gear. 

“You hungry?”

“Not very, heat tends to decrease my appetite.” Stern settles on the ground and Duck sits down in front of him. 

“Guess dinner can wait then. Got anythin' you want to do in the meantime, gorgeous?” He reaches up, traces his thumb across Sterns lower lip. 

“I sense you and I have a similar idea on how to pass the time.” He smirks, and that’s all the encouragement Duck needs to lean forward and kiss him. Stern tugs at him, rolls back and brings Duck down on top of him. He slips his hands into his back pockets and squeezes and Duck snorts out a laugh.

“What, you have a nice ass.” Stern grins, kisses his cheek and jaw, accidentally leaving butterfly kisses on his skin as he does. 

“Mostly laughin' at the fact a guy who’s got an ass you can bounce a dime off of thinks mine is nice.” He slips a hand under his shirt and then, for the first time that evening, notices what the shirt actually says.

“Sass-squatch? Really?” He’s giggling so hard he can barely speak, which only gets worse when Stern mock glares at him, although the agent lasts all of two seconds before he starts laughing too. 

“My family enjoys buying me Bigfoot themed things as a joke. I happen to like this one.”

“Only you could make a fuckin' novelty tee look sexy.” He kisses him again, hears him moan softly.

“I’m serious, Lucky” he intersperses his words with kisses, rucks Sterns shirt up so he can kiss his stomach and chest, “you got a body most guys would kill for, cheek bones that I wanna lick, which is not usually my thing, and you even make hotel towels look good.” He loves this, loves feeling Stern go all melty and eager under his hands when he praises him.

“I, ohhh, when have you s-seen me in a towel?”

“Springs changin' room at the lodge. Had half a mind to tear it off, suck you off right then and there. Hell, kinda shocked I didn’t walk in to find five other guys all pawin' at you for their turn you looked so fuckin' good.”

“Duck” Stern breathes, arching up against him. Duck kisses him, draws the taller mans hand to the crotch of his shorts, already damp.

“Feel that? Feel how much you turn me on?”

Stern nods, bites his lip.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“I, uh, was hoping to save my energy for later in the evening.” He’s panting and Duck nearly growls at the suggestion in those words.

“That being said” he deftly undoes the front of Ducks shorts, “I am very interested in sucking your dick. Right now.” 

“Shit, yeah.” Duck kicks his shorts off, sends his boxers after them, and then straddles Sterns face. He rubs his clit to take the edge off, Stern eyeing the movement hungrily. 

“Like what you seeOHokay, yeah, fuck.” Stern grabs his ass and pulls him down, licking and kissing until Duck is rutting against his face.

“That’s it, handsome, that’s it, shit you’re so good at this.” He twines one hand into Sterns dark hair, loving how he can feel his muscles tensing as he fucks him with his tongue and mouth. Lips close around his clit and he moans.

“Ohhhfuck, Lucky, please, like that, like that AHFUCK” Two fingers slip inside, curving expertly to find the right place to press. He feels rather than sees Stern laugh at his reaction, works his hips while moaning gleefuly.

“Please gorgeous, just a little harder, come on, make me come, let me come in that sweet mouth ohfuck.” He pets Sterns hair as his orgasm courses through him, climbs off him and tugs him into an embrace.

“Need me to, uh, return the favor?” He toys with the zipper on Sterns shorts, but the taller man simply kisses his cheek. 

“Perhaps later.”

Off in the trees, a little ways from camp, two figures exchange a glance.

“Sounds like they’re having fun.” One rumbles.

“Oh, definitely. But it will be so much more fun with two more, don’t you think?” The other replies with a purr. 

\---------------------------------

Duck pulls a marshmallow from the bag, hands it to Stern before getting another for himself. It’s not even dusk but the fire is crackling merrily in front of them. He has a bunch of fancy food he packed, intending to wine and dine Stern as best as the setting allows. But Stern is still too excited to have much of an appetite, and so they settle on roasting marshmallows.

Stern scooches closer on the bench until their thighs touch. He doesn’t do anything else until Duck wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close, at which point he sighs and relaxes against him. It’s funny, Stern has no qualms about doing filthy things with him, but when it comes to soft touches, to little gestures and everyday affection, he turns shy. Duck turns his head, nuzzles Sterns neck as he brushes his hand along this side.

“This is nice.” Stern murmurs.

There’s crunching beyond the fire, and a large shape comes into view.

“Evening!” Opposite them is a tall, broad figure with shaggy hair and short beard.

“Evenin'.” Duck grins.

“Hello, person I have never seen before.” Sterns eyes are fixed on the newcomer. 

“Sorry for stumbling in on you, got a little turned around on my hike. Name’s Barclay.” 

“No problem, have a seat. I’m Duck, this here’s Lucky Stern. Beer’s in the cooler if you want it.”

Stern gives him a look.

“I thought drinking wasn’t allowed in the campsites.”

“I’m an enforcer of park rules 99.9% of the time. This is the other .1%”

Barclay pulls a beer from the cooler, pops it open.

They shoot the breeze for a little while, though Duck notices Barclay barely touches his drink. He’s too busy undressing Stern with his eyes. Stern’s returning the gaze so intently Ducks amazed he doesn’t start drooling. 

He leans close to Sterns ear.

“More the merrier, I always say. You want him to join us, I ain’t gonna object.”

Stern takes a sharp inhale. 

“Um, Barclay, if you need somewhere to stay for the night, you can share our tent.” Stern points towards the huge tan mass.

“That’s a ….really big tent.”

Duck shrugs, “I use it when my sister and her family come to visit. Keeps us all together while lettin' us each have some space.”

“Dunno, I don’t have a sleeping bag.”

“You could share mine.” Stern smiles and Barclay leers, licks his lips.

“Like the sound of that.”

Duck stands, stretches his arms. 

“You fellas go ahead and get comfy. I gotta make sure the fires out and then I’ll join you.”

The pair disappear into the dark behind him. He dumps water on the fire, stirs it, dumps more, making sure there’s not a spark still breathing before he heads to the tent. The sight he finds there is exactly what he was expecting. 

Stern is in Barclays lap, kissing him like he’ll die if he doesn’t. The larger man is pulling at his clothes, trying to see as much of Stern as he can, although he’s not budging, clearly too focused on making out.

Duck sits down behind Stern, trails kisses along his neck, slips his hands into his shorts and below the waistband of his boxer briefs, teasing at his inner thighs. 

“Kinda worried I was interrupting a romantic couples night out or something.” Barclay kneads at Sterns ass, making him gasp.

“I mean, had lots of romancin' this one planned. But I’m more than happy to share.” He sucks a hickey into Sterns neck. 

“Mmmm, as much as the idea of having you both fuck me at once is enticing, I have another suggestion.” Stern trails a finger across Barclays cheek.

“Duck, you brought the, ahem, equipment, yes?”

“Sure did.” He bites Sterns ear, making the agent turn with a growl and kiss him, hard, before fixing his gaze back on Barclay.

“You want me to fuck you?” 

“Fuck, babe, yes.” Barclay lays down and Stern begins undoing his shirt. As he pulls it off, it catches the woven bracelet on his wrist. 

Suddenly, Bigfoot is in the tent. 

“Uhhhh, what the fuck?” Duck laughs nervously, but Stern is already moving. 

“Get his arms, get his arms!”

“Where’d that rope come from?”

“What the fuck man AH, fuck you’re strong. Damn, I like that” 

“Duck, it’s literally Bigfoot, the person I’m looking for.” Stern finishes tying Barclays wrists, starts on his ankles. Barclay doesn’t seem terribly worried. 

“Lucky, what’re we gonna do with him? I ain’t sure he’ll fit in the car like this.”

Barclay lets out a deep laugh.

“It’s cute how you think you’re gonna have to worry about getting me home.”

“What do you mean?” Stern is still looking at Barclay, but Duck is watching the tent zipper glide open.

“I think he means that.” 

A dark, feathered head with glowing red eyes peers in at them.

“Honestly Barclay, I disappear for half an hour and you get yourself captured.”

“In my defense, Indrid, I was preoccupied by the promise of getting my dick sucked. Among other things.” 

Indrid crawls the rest of the way in, zipping the tent flap back up and blocking any escape with his wings. He catches sight of Duck and instantly begins purring. 

“Hel _lo_ ” 

“Hi.” Duck whispers.

“Barclay, which one was the instigator of tying you up?”

Barclay snaps the ropes with ease, rolls onto his side, boxing Stern into one half of the tent.

“This one.” He growls, grabbing the front of Sterns shirt and pulling him close, “care to help me show him exactly who’s in charge around here?”

“Perhaps later. Right now I have business with this one.” He lunges forward, looming over Duck.

“Oh hell yes.” Duck gasps and Indrid chuckles, draws his tongue across his throat. 

“Eager little thing, I like that.” He sits up, pulling Duck into his lap. Duck tries for a kiss, only for Indrid to grasp him tight, holding him still.

“Clothes off first, kisses after.” Indrid releases him so he can move, and takes his shirt and shorts off in a hurry. Then fuzzy hands roam up and down his body with a sigh.

“Now, sweet one, whatever am I going to do with you?”

Meanwhile, Stern finds himself pinned face-down on his sleeping bag as Barclay rips his shorts off, underwear joining them in a corner of the tent right after. He shoves two fingers inside Stern immediately after, thumb rubbing his dick. 

“Ohmygod” Stern groans into the ground, already salivating at the promise of what Barclays cock can do if his fingers feel this fucking good.

“Y’know, it really isn’t polite to tie people up.”

“I’m, fuck, aware.”

“If you’re gonna try to keep them somewhere, it’s nicer to do it the old fashioned way.”

“Which is?” Stern gasps as Barclay yanks him up and back by his shirt just long enough to mouth at his neck, teething pricking but not breaking the skin, before pushing him back down. The fingers inside him disappear only to be replaced by the thick head of a cock. 

“Pin them down and fuck them until they can’t move.” Barclay growls, hands pressing down on Sterns own. Curious, Stern tests his range of motion and finds he’s trapped. 

“Oh, fuck.” Is all he manages to moan out, and then Barclay is pounding into him, growling and laughing each time he cries out or moans. 

“Don’t tell me you can dish it out but can’t take it babe. You were treating me rough, now I’m returning the favor. And, oh yeah, like that, I get the feeling you like it when I treat you this way.”

Stern whimpers, nods, and the yelps when a large hand smacks his ass.

“Answer me.”

“Yes, Barclay, I like, oh fuck, like it so muchOHFUCKfuck.” His system is flooding with pleasure, making him hazy, but he manages a glance over in Ducks direction. The shorter man is flat on his back, laughing as Indrid nuzzles his stomach.

“You got an interesting version of showing him whose boss” Barclay teases, barely sounding winded. 

“We can’t all rely on brute strength. Besides, I find you catch more Ducks with honey than with vinegar. Wouldn’t you agree my sweet?” From this angle Stern can make out the shape of Indrids tongue as it unfurls to press at Ducks clit.

“Think it’s, oh damn, flies but yes, oh SHIT, baby yes.” Indrid presses his tongue lower, slipping it inside and Duck stops making words. 

“To each there, oh fuck babe, their own. Besides, he likes it.” He switches to more erratic thrusts, meaning Stern can never quite anticipate when they're come or how hard they'll be, the heat and musk of his body surrounding him in the best possible way.

“Come on, handsome, let ‘em hear how much you like it when I fuck you hard.”

Stern smiles into the fabric below him, takes the hint, moaning louder. The moans are punctuated by yelps as Barclay continues to slap his ass and his thigh, grunting when the recoil from the sting makes Stern tighten around him. Nearby he hears a noise that is unmistakably Duck cumming. 

His body flashes between pain and pleasure, the strikes from the large hand right on the edge of what he can take.

And then they tip over it.

“Yellow.” He winces and Barclay stops instantly, pulls out and rests a hand on the small of his back.

“What do you need babe? Are you hurt?” 

Stern gingerly settles back on his ankles, and when he lifts his head he sees Duck and Indrid have also paused to make sure he’s alright.

“No, I don’t think so, it’s, it’s just a little too much. The pain, I mean, I think it might be from your claws, or maybe how strong you are like this.”

Barclay scoots until they’re face to face, presses a kiss to the top of his head. 

“You want me to switch forms? We can stop too, or take a break.” 

“Uh, switching forms might work, yes.” His breathing is returning to normal as Barclay finds his bracelet, though just before he slips it on Stern puts a hand on his arm.

“Or, you could suck my dick and then put it back on. I know it’s a more intense experience for you when you’re like this, and I like how, uh, enthusiastic that makes you.”

Barclay kisses him slowly, waits until he’s no longer shaking or tense before continuing.

“Lay down for me.” 

Stern does, Barclay kissing him as he goes. 

“You wanna keep up the roleplay?”

“Pleasemmmm” Barclay licks at his neck, making goosebumps rise on his skin.

“Then” his voice leans into its rumble as he kisses his way down to Sterns stomach, “you’ve still got a lot of apologizing to do for trying to kidnap me. And you know how you’re gonna do that?”

“How?”

“By letting me taste you like I’ve been wanting to since I saw you.”

“YesohOH” A broad tongue presses against wet skin and Stern grabs on to Barclays head, stroking and petting his fur, half encouragement and half reward.

There’s an “oof” and then Duck is on his back next to him, sheen of sweat clear on his forehead as Indrid fucks him, the Sylph sitting up with a firm grip on his thighs. He turns, smiling, to Stern.

“Hey gorgeous, how you holdin' up?”

“Very well, oh God please do that again.” He arches his back as Barclay growls against his skin. Quick, playful kisses find his neck as Duck curves to reach him, and Stern grabs him by the hair to pull him into a proper one. A higher, broken moan escapes Duck and he comes as they kiss, and when he finally pulls back he flops limply on the floor.

“Jesus fuck ‘Drid, that’s twice in less than an hour, you’re a fuckin' miracle worker.”

“Such a flatterer” Indrid drops down, covering Duck almost completely with his body as he fucks him, thrusts growing increasingly ragged, “now be a good little human and let me come in you.”

One of his antennae is within reach and Stern, curious, reaches out a hand to touch it. He means to just glide a fingertip up it, but right as he makes contact Barclays lips and tongue suck at his dick in just the right way and he jolts, hand closing around it. Indrid throws his head back with a trill.

“Oh, oh yesss, that’s done it.” His hips tense and still, and after a moment he pulls away from Duck. Or that’s what Stern assumes happens, because his eyes are shut so tight he’s seeing stars as Barclays tongue brings his orgasm crashing over him. 

He’s dimly aware in the moments following that Barclay is still licking at his thighs, rumbling purr filling the tent. By the time he’s regained control of his muscles enough to sit up, Barclay has slipped his bracelet back on. He pulls on the edge of Sterns shirt.

“Take this off for me troublemaker, wanna see all of you.”

“Only if you take those off.” Stern smirks, indicating the jeans Barclay hadn’t managed to get out of before his earlier transformation. 

“So demanding, and here I thought you’d finally figured out who was in charge.”

“You always did have a soft spot for the stubborn ones.” Indrid murmurs. He’s on his side, Ducks back pulled against his chest and one wing draped over the very satisfied looking human. 

“I prefer ‘determined’” Stern pulls his shirt off, enjoying the unabashed desire he sees in Barclays eyes. 

“You made a promise earlier babe, so how about you be a good boy and keep it.”

The heat from a blush shoots up Sterns face. 

“You...still want me to fuck you?”

“Yep, and I’m running out of patience, so I suggest you be quick.” Stern is already digging through the bag Duck brought before he finishes his sentence. By the time he gets the harness on Barclay has stripped off the rest of his clothes and is reclining on his sleeping bag looking like a goddamn centerfold. By the time he’s spotted the condom wrapper and lube, Barclay is gasping, working himself open.

“Holy shit.” 

“You can say that again” Indrid murmurs behind him.

“Told you I wasn’t feeling patient. Now get over here.” Barclay shifts onto his hands and knees, the sight of his ass enough to finally kickstart Stern into moving.

“There we go, finally doing what you’re tolOH, shit, babe, yes.” Stern only has to work the strap-on a little before Barclay pushes back against him to take the rest of it. Stern pulls most of the way out before snapping back in, Barclay grunting and then purring as he switches to shorter thrusts deeper in. 

“You weren’t the only one who made a promise earlier in the evening, Stern. Isn’t that right Barclay?” Indrid’s now in a human form, pair of red glasses resting on his nose. He scoots and shifts until he’s sitting in front of Barclay (Duck is still laying contentedly on his side, staring at Indrid with a dreamy smile). He tips the larger mans chin up with one slender finger.

“Someone promised me a blowjob and then didn’t deliver.”

“Hey, I got distracted.” 

“Yes, well, since I seem to have your attention now…” Indrid tugs off the loose sweatpants he’s wearing revealing a cock already leaking pre-cum, pulls a condoms from a nearby bag and slips it on, then draws his fingers under Barclays jaw, “Open.”

Barclay obeys and Stern watches long fingers curl into his dark hair, tugging his head down. That rumbling purr escapes him and Indrid bites his lip.

“Ohhhh, yes, so good, but you can take more.”

There’s a drawn-out, garbled moan and Stern catches sight of Barclays lips reaching the base of Indrids cock. He stills his hips, wanting to give Barclay a moment to adjust to the new position. Watches Barclay lift his head up slightly before taking it all again, Indrid not lifting a finger to help him. He catches Stern staring, raises an eyebrow.

“I suggest you keep up your previous activity, little one, else he’s going to get demanding again and if he stops sucking me off to chastise you there will be consequences.”

Stern builds his thrusts back up, notices Barclay purring louder when he does. 

“I believe I’m actually bigger than you.” Stern smirks at the mock exasperation that crosses Indrids face.

“True, but all I have to do is take these off” he taps his glasses, “and you wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Heat courses across his cheeks.

“Oh, you _like_ that. Filthy little thing.” He grins, then uses one finger to make a scratch bloom across Barclays back, a muted howl bouncing through the tent shortly after. It’s intoxicating, the sight of this huge, gorgeous man becoming more debauched by the moment, and when Stern takes a second to watch his cock pushing into him he’s suddenly aware of how painfully aroused he’s getting. He’s trying to work out how to get off without interrupting the rhythm that’s sending Barclay to pieces when two fingers slip inside him and slightly chapped lips kiss the caress the back of his neck. 

“Figured you’d be wet by now but jesus, Lucky, you’re drippin'.” Duck drawls in his ear. 

“Can you blame me?”

There’s a chirp moan in front of them and they both look to see Indrid arching backwards, head tipped to show a throat sporting several hickies.

“Nope. Don’t mind neither, makes it real easy for me to do this.” He shifts his fingers before curling one and Stern bucks his hips, making Barclay grunt in response. 

“Do that again, goodness, I’m so close.” Indrid pleads.

Stern thrusts the same way and this time Barclay growls, though the sound is broken into chunks as Indrid pushes erratically in and out of his mouth, moaning. He pulls away and Barclay gasps.

“You want me to make you come before or after the big gu-” The remainder of Ducks question is swallowed up by Indrid as he comes to join them, grabbing the ranger for a kiss that’s all tongue and teeth. He’s laughing when he pulls back and Indrid plants a kiss first on his shoulder and then on Sterns forearm.

“After.” He replies, reaching around to grip Barclays cock as Duck slides his fingers back out.

“Thank fuck.” The bigger man groans into the floor. Stern opts for fast, firm strokes to match the movements of his hips and soon Barclay is whimpering and Stern is about to pass out from how fucking gratifying that is.

“Close, babe, so fucking close, Stern, honey, please.” His arms are shaking and Stern can see the muscles in his back and neck tensing as he pounds into him, Duck and Indrid continuing to kiss and touch him (and each other).

“You’re doing so well Barclay, so well, you’re so good to me.” Barclay thrusts one last time into his hand and the something warm and sticky coats it as a now familiar howgrowlpurr leaves his lips. Stern pulls out gingerly only for Duck to pull his back against his warm, hairy chest and slip three fingers into him, making him tilt his head back and shut his eyes. 

“C’mon, handsome, come for me, wanna see how good you look when you do.” Duck growls as he peppers his back with kisses, fingers alternating between fucking him and rubbing his dick. Hands cups his cheeks and then Barclay is kissing his lips (he can tell by the beard) while cold hands (Indrid, then) rub and stroke at his right thigh and side. He’s surrounded by heat, by the scent of sweat and aftershave and cologne (who is wearing cologne at a time like this oh wait that's him). The feeling of being shared and pawed and praised with so much desire and care gets him most of the way there and then Duck rubs just right at his dick and he comes with a cry against Barclays mouth. 

He comes down from the orgasm shaking and for a moment he’s worried he’ll have a repeat of the sub drop from last time but then Barclay is there, gently guiding him onto his back on the sleeping bag, letting him settle into his arms as he murmurs quiet praise.

“You with me, agent?” He smiles soft, all traces of the roleplay gone and Stern nods, bumps their noses together. Then notices the damp patch under his leg.

“I fear we may have to dry clean all the camping gear.” 

“I, for one, regret nothing.” Indrid stretches before snuggling against Ducks chest.

“Me neither, but I gotta say I’m feelin' kinda gross and sweaty now that the afterglow is wearin' off.”

“You’re going to suggest skinny dipping.”

“Did you actually see that comin,' or did you guess.”

“Duck Newton, every time you’ve gotten me near a body of water when it’s remotely warm out you’ve wanted to go in it.”

“What can I say, like seein' a cute guy all wet and naked.”

“The cute guy will go with you provided you do not dunk him. He’s a bug and bugs can’t swim.”

“‘Drid, you’re an alien, not a bug, and I know you hate dunkin' cause you might lose your glasses. So no dunkin' it is.”

“A brief dip could be nice, though I’m not sure I can move my legs just yet.” Stern cuddles closer to his boyfriend.

“You guys go ahead, we’ll catch up.” Barclay holds him tight, and Stern decides he’s never leaving those arms ever again.

\------------------------------------------  
By the time Stern and Barclay finish rinsing off in the lake, Duck and Indrid have laid the food Duck brought on the picnic table by the fire, which Duck has restarted. As they approach Stern hears them talking.

“Honestly, my love, you’re terrible at pretending to not recognize me or to be even a little intimidated by my Sylph form.” Indrid teases.

“It’s because there’s a look you give me when you’re like that and it catapults me right back to when I was 18 and so horny for you I couldn’t think straight.” 

Stern and Barclay settle on the bench across from them and Stern spots just what Duck brought with them and his eyes widen. There’s brie and bread that is definitely fresh, chocolate covered strawberries, a thermos that smells vaguely of onion, pie, and a host of other things that make his mouth water. 

“Yep, brought a bit of everybodys favorites. Barclay made some of it, the rest I picked up from in town.”

“Is this champagne?” He looks at the label of a bottle on the table.

“Yep, finest champagne in the store! By which I mean the only champagne in the store because this is Kepler.” Duck flashes him a crooked grin before reaching into the cooler. 

“Course, had to get somethin' sweeter for ‘Drid.”

“Ooooooh, Baja Blast!”

“Only the best for you, love of my life.” He waves his hands to indicate they should eat, grabs the thermos for himself and pours out a cup of what appears to be french onion soup.

“It’s still too ho-” Indrid says.

“Hot! Owow, shit that never used to happen.” He glares at the cup for a split second before taking another sip. Indrid chuckles, kisses his cheek. 

“What did you two while you were waiting to join us?”

“Enjoyed the fresh air and a snack. By which I mean we made out in the woods for a bit.” Indrid pulls on his jacket (or, rather, Ducks jacket).

“Yeah, plus couldn’t stop myself from dipping into the fruit salad a bit early. Almost tastes as good as you.” He purrs that last part low into Sterns ear, and the agent nudges him playfully. 

Duck finishes pouring drinks into enamel camping mugs, hands one to each of them and then raises his.

“Cheers to the best campin trip of the year.”

“Cheers!” Call three happy voices in reply.


End file.
